I've just realised how bad the month of March is.
So many things have happened, too many for me to comprehend why, or how.
Thought that it'll probably be a good month since it was the month of Founder's Day.
But I was wrong.
To start things off, I get rejected on the first day. Then I lose a close friend in school, and quietly the people around her are turning their backs on me as well. Another friend struggles with relationship issues, and then another close friend breaks up after dating for a year. Another close friend gets a UTI, almost worrying me to death. After that a church friend collapses during a cross country run, risking brain damage and kidney failure, and is probably sedated right now as I type this. All this while I struggle and disappoint myself with my end of semester Project.
Is this how St Patrick's Day is really supposed to be?
No, really.
It's not even halfway through the month and so many things happen.
Usually when times like these come, a questions pops up in my mind. Why do bad things happen to good people? Then I remember, I'm not even good to begin with. None of us are.
I start to think, and I start to wonder. I try my best coming up with answers or explanations. Now that doesn't work, so what can I do?
I try going mad, cause hey, most geniuses are mad anyway eh? Doesn't work either.
Then I try insulating myself from all these negativity, see if I can get through without emotions getting in my way. Ends with me in pieces.
Is there anything I can do?
No, there isn't.
Except for one thing.
Pray.
I don't have the answers, but I know someone who does.
And He knew them even before they happened.
Trading innocence for wisdom is something we all yearn for when we realise that there's too much knowledge for us to handle. There's only so much we can take, but yet our ego pushes us as we go along, feeding us with ideas that we can know everything just because we can.
We judge because we can.
We condescend because we can.
We bring downs others to justify our own rights.
Because we can.
But, really, is that all we can do?
All the little things.
Aye, so breaking news, I've stopped playing Maple so that I can play Granado Espada. Yeah, it's weird, but I just did, don't ask why. It's actually pretty enjoyable, but it's obviously alot more slow paced than my BankaiStory!
P1's picking up as well, hope everything goes smoothly on Monday.
Till then, we'll just keep marching on.
That's what this month calls us to do.
