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Waiting..
waiting on the world to change

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Dreamy .




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Καλώς ήρθατε!
watch out as the day passes by

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Thursday, April 10, 2008
6:01 AM

Gonna be a short one. My internet's screwing up as I type this.

Just wanna say i'm sorry for the promises that I've broken. Guess I've gotta make up for the breakups.

I kinda miss alot of things right now. Cell. The jokes. The company.

The friends. Haha I really miss hanging with Xavier and Damien and Prash and the rest. Hmm I wanna go to BRMC soon...wonder what it's like now. Haven't talked to mst of the people for a pretty long time.

I'm missing alot of stuff. I still miss sec 2 days. I miss the 2b2 gang man. Haha.

I don't mind failing o levels this year. Retaking it again. Staying in secondary as long as possible. Staying in the best part of my life as long as possible. Well, that is if my friends stay back with me. But that's not gonna happen, so I'm gonna hafta move on.

I'm kinda dreading the working life. Don't even know why I'm thinking of it now.

Well unless I become a teacher haha. Nah I suck at teaching, not gonna happen anytime soon =p I already have problems teaching the sec 1s drums...well it's not like everybody's gonna be a Silas anyway. Right k too much info there. =D

Oh well. I keep blogging about missing something. How bout something's missing. Haha k was that a pun? =p

But yea. I miss the drums at choir room. I miss playing behind those friends. I miss playing with the guy who's a little shorter than me, and just makes love to the crowd with his guitar. The guy who looks at much more behind his specs, caressing his black bass with smooth plucks and slaps. The guy who thinks he's Cristiano Ronaldo, who's singing his heart out. The short guy who's strumming up and down on his electric. And guiding all that is a man, older than us, grey hair, with that smile that makes you want to do your best.

I miss all that.

Hmm, I just wanna play the drums again. I wanna count for something. Something good.

Oh well. Hope enrolment's my next chance.

And Nic lent me his PC Game magazine. Loads of cool stuff larr, like Red Alert 3. Haha gosh dogs with bagpacks that amplify their barks to stun people. Crazy shizzzz haha.

Listening to Delirious now. There goes another memory. Last year's FOP. Haha such a pity I got an injury on my hand, I couldn't shake their hands properly during the autograph sessions. Awww, haha can't wait for them to play again soon.

Well, and I read about SoulStorm in that mag too. The latest craze. Well, among Khoo, Gabs and I, that is. Not to mention Keith and Kendrick and the rest. And I'm so jealous of Gabs now! I want SS too!

Oh and I hope Ben's ok. Stupid Pneumothorax. Screw it lar, haha. See lar, tell so many lame jokes, laugh too much, now kena hole in your lung. =p haha k fine, well he's ok now, after the operation. Yep, hope we can see him this sunday.

Hmm I still feel bad for breaking the promises I made. Well, dear I've just gotta say that I'm thinking of long term goals. Hope you got what I meant =)

But I guess I'm gonna hafta forget all that. To move on.

Seems like the yesterdays are getting older. Tomorrows are getting younger.

Everybody's changing, and I don't feel the same.

It's surprising, how things change really quickly. In this fast paced world.

Haha, least I'm still swinging to the beat.

Beat of what? Well it's all in my head hawhawhaw.

K that sounded wrong. And right now I have an email to reply to. I'm thinking a long one, like, really really long. Guess I've got alotta things to say.

And cool I just broke another promise. I said this post would be a short one. There goes my trust. Haha.

Oh and another thing to mention. My da sao's new house is cool. 20 storeys up high. Feels like you're flying. Not only that, the Flyer's in view from there.

By the way, the second part of your present is still on. I wasn't joking about it. Just tell Brandon and I when you're free =)

Oh and MY NAPFA'S TOMORROW! Ahh I'm pretty worried for alot of things. Well, everything escpet sit ups and broad jump. I wanna get all As! Like, I already have an A for my 2.4, so yea. I wanna get that streak I almost got in sec 2. Haha.

Oh well. Signing off.

Flying.

Again.

To where my dream sweeper takes me to.

And when it's all over, the memories are washed away.

Who knows when they'll come back.

We just keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting....

For His eye is on the sparrow. And I know He watches me.


Wednesday, April 09, 2008
9:16 AM

Thank You
For the promises You made
For the gift of love You gave
Always, I'll sing Your praise

Thank You
For the chance to live again
For Your grace that never ends
Always I'll sing Your praise

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
I belove a King
To You I sing

Cause You mean everything to me
You're all this world will never be
Your Name reigns in my heart
You're all that I depend on


8:58 AM

Say hi to the world, dear.

Hi.

Now what.

Hmm I'm not hat sure myself. Here I go talking to myself on the internet. Very fun.

Watched Contender today. Realling interesting. What's the most interesting part though, is how one of the muay thai fighter's christian. Not only that, he's from Middle East. So cool, haha gosh. Thinking of picking up muay thai. But I'm scared of the religious things they do. Sian, but looking at contender, I guess it in possible to keep to my religion. Hmm and the fight was interesting. But I feel quite bad for Sean, I could tell he really gave up, which is quite sad. But well that thai guy(I can't say/spell his name, it's in thai) was really strong anyway. Can't wait for next week's fight.

And I was thinking throughout the whole day. Pretty tired of thinking.

I should just move on.

And also, this might be my last time using the com till after mid years. Ahhh I don't want that to happen.

I seriously wanna study out too.

Maybe with the two of them at KAP like, everyday.

I can't concentrate at home.

Hmm.

I can't believe I still miss the 07 batch. I still can't get over the fact that Barker feels really different. From last time. Changing teachers, principals, students. I don't feel that tradition anymore. I don't feel that passion, that spirit. Everybody's changing, and I don't feel the same. I miss the guys running around, hugging, the handshaking stuff, the pranks, the shouts, the really lame jokes, the unity, the spirit. Hmm, how I wish I was born one year earlier....

And it doesn't feel the same with the teachers too. Just feels out of place. It's just one of those times I feel out of place again. Changes.

Changes for tomorrow.

For better, for worse.

The changes two of us has made for the sake of happiness. For the sake of moving on.

Sometimes I sit and wonder, what am I really doing.

Should just drop out of school and travel around the world.

Travel to the furthest star in heaven.

And fly freely.

Like as if we don't have enough free will already...

But please Lord, don't pass me by.

I'm hungry for You Lord.

It's one of those times where I'm stuck again. Slowly picking the pieces of me up.

I miss my brothers.

I miss my old family.

I miss my old friends.

I miss my old self.

I miss innocence.

I miss joy.

I miss clarity.

I miss her.

Going back in time doesn't really help, you just have to get through the same shit again.

So I'll just keep moving on.

Moving on. I forgot what it meant.

What's the purpose of having a purpose.

I forgot.

I forget.

I've been forgotten.

Sometime's I'm there, sometime's I'm not.

Where am I?

I've lost myself, for good within Your promise.

Here I go, rambling again.

How I'd float along yesterdays again.

But don't worry, I'm pretty much happy after saying all this out.

I'm starting to type like my brother.


Monday, April 07, 2008
8:09 AM

And so it is

My heart's been dried up

My body wasted away

The rain's falling again

The storm's everlasting

The whispers are gone

Gone away. Gone from me

Seems so empty

Shadows embrace me

But these shadows of mine

Prove the sunshine

I know you've found that sunshine

I'm still on my way. I'm still looking for that sunshine

But don't worry, I'll find it. Someday

I'll find it again in you

I just want you to know, that I'll love you too

Behind my work, my studies, my other friends, there's a heart

A beating heart

A heart with the sound of you

The warmth, the embrace

I know you're waiting for me. I'll wait for you too

It's that rainbow again

You're that rainbow

That stands out from the darkness in me

Sunshine, come and help me sing

My heart is frozen

My heart is darkened underneath

You'll be in my heart, always

And I'm not afraid to say it

You do mean alot to me, even now

2 years. I'll be strong

I'll be strong for us

Somehow I feel it's all part of His will for us

I'm willing to accept it

Hope your sore throat goes away. Your voice sounded good over the phone

The storm's fading

You're coming in with the light

We're crooked souls trying to stay up straight
Dry eyes in the pouring rain
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Just want you to know

that I love you =)